Drugs and Alcohol
Although the world of drugs and alcohol probably seems like a distant problem for those of us with young kids, many experts are increasingly recommending that parents broach the subject with their children when they are in late elementary school so that you can practice clear and open communication before they begin hearing about drugs/alcohol from their peers.
What experts are saying: Starting conversations with kids on the earlier end can help keep those lines of communication open as they get older and may find themselves in situations where other kids are experimenting with drugs and alcohol. These don't need to be grand, lengthy speeches (in fact, that may be detrimental) - just quick ways to avoid having drugs and alcohol being a taboo subject, and letting your children know your expectations for them.
What our faith says: Jesus may have turned water into wine, but that doesn't mean that alcohol is fair game for Christians of any age. Sure, wine in ancient times was significantly diluted from what we'd drink today - but that's ultimately beside the point. Promoting our children's health and well-being is one of our most important roles as parents, and trying to avoid or curtail anything that might affect that is equally important. It can feel like a hard line to draw, particularly for those of us who enjoy a drink or two as adults, but it is important to emphasize that children's brains and bodies are different from adults' - and that means that different rules apply as well.
For further reading/reflection:
https://www.parents.com/kids/problems/drug-abuse/talking-to-your-child-about-drugs/
https://www.huffingtonpost.ca/2017/08/28/how-to-talk-to-kids-about-drugs_a_23188234/
https://www.huffpost.com/entry/how-to-talk-to-your-teen-about-drugs-6-tips-for-parents_b_599236c1e4b0ed1f464c0d98
What experts are saying: Starting conversations with kids on the earlier end can help keep those lines of communication open as they get older and may find themselves in situations where other kids are experimenting with drugs and alcohol. These don't need to be grand, lengthy speeches (in fact, that may be detrimental) - just quick ways to avoid having drugs and alcohol being a taboo subject, and letting your children know your expectations for them.
- Focus on healthy lifestyle discussions. Rather than focusing on long-term consequences like addiction, relate how alcohol or drugs could limit their ability to do things that they enjoy. Smoking, for example, harms lung health - which could hurt their ability to play sports. Tie this conversation into one of overall well-being and how you want them to be at their best.
- Set firm rules and expectations. Although some rebellion is part of being a teen, studies have shown that clear parental expectations around drug/alcohol use is a key part of kids choosing to abstain.
- Let them ask questions. Kids likely will have witnessed alcohol or drug use over the years, whether in TV shows or movies, or in real life. Encourage them to ask questions and give honest answers.
- Decide on consequences together. One way to help curtail experimentation is to brainstorm with your child about what the consequences might be if you catch them experimenting with drugs and alcohol.
- Talk about peer pressure, and cite positive stats. Peer pressure is something that every kid will experience, particularly in those vulnerable middle school years when all they want to do is fit in. But while they might feel as though "everyone" is trying drugs/alcohol, the reality is that most teens don't! According to numerous studies in this past decade, somewhere between 66-80% of high schoolers don't drink and 79% don't smoke.
- Give kids a way out. If kids find themselves in a situation that makes them uncomfortable, pre-establish a message they can text you so that you can come and pick them up. You can also encourage them to let their friends know how strongly you feel about this and that they are nervous about you catching them.
What our faith says: Jesus may have turned water into wine, but that doesn't mean that alcohol is fair game for Christians of any age. Sure, wine in ancient times was significantly diluted from what we'd drink today - but that's ultimately beside the point. Promoting our children's health and well-being is one of our most important roles as parents, and trying to avoid or curtail anything that might affect that is equally important. It can feel like a hard line to draw, particularly for those of us who enjoy a drink or two as adults, but it is important to emphasize that children's brains and bodies are different from adults' - and that means that different rules apply as well.
For further reading/reflection:
https://www.parents.com/kids/problems/drug-abuse/talking-to-your-child-about-drugs/
https://www.huffingtonpost.ca/2017/08/28/how-to-talk-to-kids-about-drugs_a_23188234/
https://www.huffpost.com/entry/how-to-talk-to-your-teen-about-drugs-6-tips-for-parents_b_599236c1e4b0ed1f464c0d98